CarusoBlog

The Opposite of Luck Is . . .

Posted from Royal Oak, Michigan--

When I was in the music business many years ago, I got in the habit of thinking in "song titles."  A good song title is a memorable and provocative word or combination of words that somehow triggers a deeper meaning. 

This skill comes in quite handy today as I now make a living thinking of and marketing titles for my audio programs and books. 

"The Opposite of Luck" sounds like it could be a song title or lyric, but I'm even more intrigued by the question, "What is the opposite of luck?"

Feel free to post your answer and I'll weigh in later.

Trustomer Service

Posted from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina--

Marriott is my hotel of choice.  Marriott runs a fantastic hotel business and I'm a big fan.  Every stay seems to generate a positive experience and many visits treat me to a customer service experience that I convert into a story for clients. 

Last fall, I stayed at a Marriott property in Rhode Island to deliver a keynote speech to a group of  sales professionals in the health care industry.  As I left my room to deliver the talk, the housekeeper greeted me in the hallway outside my room.

She asked if I would be needing my room serviced.   

I pointed to the "Do Not Disturb" sign I had displayed on the doorknob and said, "No, thanks."

Then, something odd happened.  The housekeeper asked me to sign a document stating that I didn't want my room cleaned. 

As I signed the form, I teasingly said, "I guess your manager doesn't trust you, eh?" 

"Oh, my manager trusts me," the woman innocently replied.  "But sometimes guests tell us that they don't  want their room cleaned and then later complain that we didn't clean their room."

So her manager trusts her, but doesn't trust me.  Oops.  I like how the Marriott documents customer requests, but the implied lack of trust left a bad taste in my mouth. 

The secret to remarkable customer service is trustomer service.  Your representatives can be taught how to better establish trust with customers.  More information is available in my FastLearnerAudio2 CD and e-book, Teaching Remarkable Customer Service.

How Not to Meet People

Composed in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina--

Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking at a sales conference.  If you've ever attended one of my presentations, you know that I like to "work the room" before I begin my speech.

There are many benefits to shaking hands before a presentation, but it's a great opportunity to build rapport with audience members and I am religious about it.

Anyway, as I moved from table to table, I encountered a woman who was reading a book.  Imagine that!  We're at a conference to improve selling skills and meet other people with similar interests and this nice lady is sitting at a table by herself reading.

Here's the best part.  She was reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Taking the Conversation Where You Want It To Go

Composed at Slippery Rock State University in Pennsylvania--

A while back, I needed a way to explain and demonstrate success scripts in seminars and in articles so I invented "Predictive Dialog."  Predictive Dialog is the art of taking the conversation where you want it to go.

We engage in predictable conversation all day long about a variety of issues including sports, weather, traffic and personal health.  But Predictive Dialog is a more purposeful form of conversation.  If you've heard of Peter Drucker's "management by objective," it may be helpful to think of Predictive Dialog as "conversation by objective."

Predictive Dialog is not about manipulation---which involves deception---or control, often associated with domination.  Rather, Predictive Dialog is strategic.  It is not about controlling the conversation for your personal benefit as much as it is about influencing the conversation for the benefit of both parties.

A simple example of Predictive Dialog is known as the law of reciprocity.  For instance, if you say, “Good morning” to someone, that person will probably respond in kind.  If I ask you what you did over the weekend, you are likely to inquire about my weekend and so on.   

These types of interchanges are common. But what happens when a pro-active communicator initiates dialog in a more purposeful manner?

For example, a mother of a six year-old might find herself in an argument by insisting that the kid where a jacket when leaving the house.

Mom: Junior, wear your coat.

Junior:  I don't want to.

Mom: I said, "Wear your coat."

Junior: No!

By using Predictive Dialog, however, the conversation can go like this:

Mom: Junior, would you like to wear your jacket or carry it?

Son: Huh?  I, er . . . oh, I’ll wear it, I guess.

 
Predictive Dialog can be very effective as a selling tool.

Example #1--

Seller: Mr. Prospect, do you prefer the black model or the brown model?

(The question is phrased in such a way that the prospect is inclined to prefer one of these two models over no model.)

 

Example #2--

Salespeople are often in a position of having to win business from another vendor.  One of the best ways to do this is to identify the competition’s weakness and offer something better. Progress is made quickly when the prospect tells you the competition’s weakness.

Seller: What do you like least about your current vendor?

In the above example, the prospect may love their current vendor, but that isn’t the question, is it?  Such is the power of Predictive Dialog.

Learn more about Predictive Dialog and other forms of persuasion from my FastLearnerAudio (FLA) series on selling.  FLA3 consists of four one-hour audio CDs and four 30-page e-books on the subjects of:

- Selling More, Better, Faster
- Networking Like a Pro
- Negotiating for Fun and Profit
- 22 Sales Closes That Work

How To Get People To Play Nice

Posted from The Hyatt Regency Hotel, Chicago, Illinois--

Readers always write:

Dear Michael -

I have enjoyed and benefited from your class and books.  You have really helped me.  Specifically, I have taken your advice on communicating with others - looking people in the eye, keeping my hands out of my pockets, smiling through doorways, etc. 

I would like to think these practices are helping my professional and personal relationships and drawing  people closer, but I haven't really noticed results, yet.  It seems to me that many people are more likely to want to avoid conversation or eye contact, especially at work.

I am a positive person by nature, but am so curious how expert communicators like yourself can keep going at such a high level when most of the people you come into contact with are looking at the floor and walking around you.

Is there a book, CD or presentation you can suggest to help me understand the dynamics of this subject? area?   Thank you again for all that you do.

Sincerely,
Roger

 

I respond:    

Thanks, Roger.  I appreciate your kind words.  You're correct.  It can be difficult to keep the energy level high when people aren't responding.  I'm not sure how long you've been practicing, but perhaps you need to become more comfortable before others take your lead.

Keep in mind that no one bats 1.000 in this game.  For example, many people adjust their communication style to accommodate me, but most only do this for a short time before reverting back to their old selves.

The people who appreciate optimism and positive energy are drawn closer and the relationship improves over time.  Some people, however, never get it and I'm okay with that.

The truth is that I don't convert anyone into using being a better communicator.  I'm not really even looking for direct results with others.  I'm just trying to get through the day!  As I write in my booklet, Hmmm . . . Little Ideas With BIG Results," you can't change people.

If someone doesn't want to "play" with me, I can tell and usually disengage pretty quickly.   

No single book has helped me understand this.  I have, however, benefited from reading a wide assortment of authors including Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Stephen Covey, Harville Hendrix and Malcolm Gladwell.

5 Cool Ideas For Men To Improve Their Body Language

Posted from Denver, Colorado--

No matter where I speak, the most popular segment of my presentation is usually when I remind men how they can communicate better.  Here are 5 Cool Ideas for men to improve their body language.

1. Take your hands out of your pockets.
Behavioral psychologists say that men who walk and talk with their hands in their pockets often convey anxiety and insecurity.  Be comfortable with your hands at the bottom of your arms.  That's where they belong. 

2. Sustained eye contact will serve you well.
Most men are terrible with eye contact.  Watch two men shake hands.  One of them will invariably look away.   Practice sustained eye contact by maintaining a visual connection two or three seconds longer than you normally do.  Don't get weird on me now.

3. Smiling makes you more human.
Scientist Roger Sperry discovered that men tend to be left-brain dominant.  As a result, the male gender is not overly communicative with facial expressions, which can make them difficult to read.  When a man smiles frequently, he conveys confidence and competence. 

4. Non-verbal signals cannot be underrated.
Body language is a kind of neuro-linguistic programming or NLP.  These non-verbal cues are sent most often by our eyes and hands.  Actions, of course, speak louder than words.

5. Take note of others and they will take note of you.
Men would be wise to use body language to reinforce their verbal messages.  For example, if you want to send a signal that you are really paying attention to what someone is saying, take notes. 

Everything Happens For a Reason, But . . .

Posted from Royal Oak, Michigan--

Have you ever noticed that the people who say, "Everything happens for a reason," aren't all that interested in finding out the reason?

History's a Thing of the Past

Composed in Lansing, Michigan--

It's interesting to hear people give their viewpoints and opinions.  You can tell a lot about a person  by their reference points.

Some people talk about the past, which they can do nothing about, while some people talk about the future, which can be influenced and controlled to some degree.

People who use the past as a framework for discussion often position themselves as victims.  People who reference the future seem to be creating their own destiny, almost without regard for bad things that have happened to them.

Happyness

Posted from Royal Oak, Michigan--

Happy New Year everyone!

It's good to be back to work.  Work makes me happy!

This reminds me of the old question:  Do we whistle because we are happy or are we happy because we whistle?

I saw the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness over the holiday season and loved it.  It's based on a true story about a man who persists against the odds.  Will Smith does a great job and he is cast against type as the tired, mature protagonist.

How To Give Killer Presentations

Posted from Royal Oak, Michigan--

     I just recorded my new FastLearnerAudio program titled, How To Give Killer Presentations.  It's a fantastic program, a compilation of my best seminar material on the subject.

       After delivering close to 1,500 keynote speeches and seminars on how to improve presentations, it's clear to me that most people think their presentations are good enough.  The average presenter:

• worries about his or her presentation for two weeks prior
• can't sleep the night before
• goes apoplectic when the presentation begins
• makes basic mistakes during the talk

---and then somehow convinces himself or herself that the presentation was "good enough."

     This reminds me of how people regard their driving.  Everyone thinks they are a pretty good driver, yet there are tons of damaged automobile on the road and even more cars that have almost been damaged from poor driving habits.

     As Jim Collins writes in the first sentence of his book, Good to Great, "Good is the enemy of great."

     Of course, everything we do is a form of presentation.  We present ourselves every time we  attend a meeting, place a phone call or speak to a customer service representative.   When we  comb hair, dress for work or post a blog, we are making a presentation.