CarusoBlog

The Best Book on Happiness

Composed in Glen Allen, Virginia--

What's the best book on happiness you've ever read?  Post your response by clicking "comment" below.

Happiness has always been a hot issue.  Everyone wants it, but surprisingly few people actually achieve it.  Some people are happy for short bursts of time, but hardly anyone claims to be happy over the long stretch.

So books on happiness keep getting published and purchased.  I recently read Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.

Happiness is a fascinating concept. It’s such a deep and personal subject that we can’t even agree on how to define it. Daniel Gilbert has studied why most malcontents seem to avoid happiness, even though they know how to best achieve it. 

It turns out that human beings have several issues that keep them from being happy. First, we simply aren’t very good at predicting our future emotions. Gilbert cites research that many people feel they would be happier living in California, yet researchers have proven that Californians are no happier than Iowans.   

Many married couples conceive children because they think kids will make the couple happier. In truth, parents are on balance no happier than other people, until the children move away from home. 

Judging by the accompanying photograph of  author  Gilbert, one can be reasonably happy sitting alone on a park bench.

Another roadblock to happiness is that the brain plays tricks on us by favoring information we want to receive and filtering out or avoiding information that we don’t. 

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, most of us do not do what is most likely to ensure happiness. We don’t talk to people who have done the things we think might make us happy.

If we are going to start smoking, for example, we don’t interview senior citizens with lung disease or emphysema. A person who wants to quit his job tends to talk more with the people who still work at the job, rather than people who have quit. If we are going to open a retail store, we don’t talk to many people who run retail stores, let alone people who have formerly run retail stores.

Gilbert style is witty, but his triple and quadruple entendres are sometimes a challenge to decode. He’s funny, but as an academic, Gilbert can’t help trotting out an endless parade of research and case studies to support the book’s premise.

I enjoyed Stumbling On Happiness, but overall the best book on happiness might be a good Italian cookbook.

What's the best book on happiness you've ever read?

Be Cool

Composed in Akron, Ohio--

One of the secrets to running your own company is dedicating yourself to the work, but I also recommend working at relaxation.  All of us need should schedule downtime to do things that give us joy and peace.  Reading can be just the ticket. 

I've just finished a three-day engagement for an insurance provider here in the Buckeye State.  I'm teaching their sales professionals and executive team to be better speakers.  Nerves are an issue for most speakers, so I guess I'm teaching people to be cool under pressure.  Coincidentally, I enjoyed an audio book by that name on the drive down to Akron. 

Be Cool was published in 1999, but the fiction machine known as Elmore Leonard continues to crank out the hits.  Leonard's been in the news lately because his old book 3:10 to Yuma was recently made into a movie. 

The author is known for his sharp dialogue.  He writes the way people talk. I’ve met Leonard; he lives just down the street from me in the adjacent city of Michigan. As it turns out, I know the name sakes of several people in Be Cool.

Elliott Wilhelm (the "Samoan" thug) is named after the head of the Detroit Film Theatre. The DJ in the book, Ken Calvert, is named after the legendary Motown DJ. Journalist Mike Downey is named after the real newspaper guy, who is a terrific writer. 

I highly recommend Leonard’s fabulous story-telling for anyone who wants to escape real life for a while. This audio book was read by actor Campbell Scott, perhaps most famous for his role opposite Steve Martin in The Spanish Prisoner.

Like 3:10 to Yuma many of Leonard's books, Be Cool was made into a motion picture.  John Travolta was excellent in the role of Chili Palmer.

You May Know the Way to San Jose, But Do You Know How It Was Named?

Composed in Laguna Hills, California

On a recent speaking tour in California, a friend explained to me how the various west coast cities were named.  It turns out that cities beginning with the letters "San," such as San Diego, San Juan Capistrano, San Fernando, San Miguel and San Jose are named after male saints.

Cites that begin with "Santa," such as Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz and  Santa Clara are named after female saints.

The theme got started over 500 years ago, when a Franciscan priest named Father Junipero Serra founded a string of missions as he and his group trundled up the west coast from Mexico. Father Serra was 55 at the time his journey started. He walked with a limp, but he traveled by mule to eventually found nine of the many missions that line the California coast.

The missions are known for the rounded roof tiles and wide arches, a design that is still widely employed in the Golden State today.

One of my clients gave me a thoughtful remembrance of our time together.  The gift was the book, The Missions of California, a picture book featuring the beautiful photographs of Melba Levick with text by Stanley Young.         

We See Things As We Are

Posted from Royal Oak, Michigan--

I've been collecting quotations for some time now. 

My favorite quotes can be famous words from well-known people, but just as often, the memorable line originates from an obscure or ordinary person.  Here's a quotation that recently captured my attention:

“We see things not as they are, but as we are.”

  --H.M. Tomlinson

I don't know if H.M. is a man or a woman, which makes him/her obscure in my book.  In any case, Tomlinson is right on.  This idea has huge ramifications when relating to people, selling, raising children and talking our parents.

Recently, I traveled to Chicago to help a client deliver a sales training program to his team.  Part of the message was how to facilitate something called "planned giving."  Planned giving is the idea of creating an organic legacy by contributing money to a good cause so that people will remember you in that way. 

This type of dialog usually takes place between financial planners and senior citizens, but some of us have to speak to our parents on the subject.  David Solie, in his book, Saying It To Seniors, makes the case that people who are not senior citizens have no idea what it's like to be that old.

We pretend to relate to these nice people, but at the end of the day, we see them as we are, rather than as they are.  This false perspective often leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings.

Taking the broader view and being open to other perspectives takes more time and energy, but it usually produces a more accurate assessment of what's really happening. 

Two of My Favorite Books of 2006

Composed in Boston, Massachusetts--

As a consultant, I find it useful and rewarding to read a lot.  I'm a kind of clipping service for my clients so whenever I read a useful article or book, copies go out to my clients. 

On occasion, I come across enjoyable books that don't have much business application.  Such is the case with regard to my favorite to books of 2006.  I really enjoyed Three Weeks With My Brother by Nicholas Sparks and Manhunt! by James L. Swanson.

Nicholas Sparks specializes in fiction, but Three Weeks With My Brother is an autobiographical account of an around-the-world trip he took with his sibling.  Part travelogue and part memoir, Sparks uses the trip as a backdrop for stories about the brothers' upbringing.  I have three brothers and this book made me want to be a better sibling for them. 

Manhunt! is the story of the 12-day hunt for John Wilkes Booth.  Suspenseful and intriguing, Swanson's book is full of new information about the assassination of the country's most beloved President.  Alas, Abraham Lincoln was loved more after he died.  About half of the country hated the man.  Did you know Lincoln was burned in effigy by angry southerners?