We See Things As We Are

Posted from Royal Oak, Michigan--

I've been collecting quotations for some time now. 

My favorite quotes can be famous words from well-known people, but just as often, the memorable line originates from an obscure or ordinary person.  Here's a quotation that recently captured my attention:

“We see things not as they are, but as we are.”

  --H.M. Tomlinson

I don't know if H.M. is a man or a woman, which makes him/her obscure in my book.  In any case, Tomlinson is right on.  This idea has huge ramifications when relating to people, selling, raising children and talking our parents.

Recently, I traveled to Chicago to help a client deliver a sales training program to his team.  Part of the message was how to facilitate something called "planned giving."  Planned giving is the idea of creating an organic legacy by contributing money to a good cause so that people will remember you in that way. 

This type of dialog usually takes place between financial planners and senior citizens, but some of us have to speak to our parents on the subject.  David Solie, in his book, Saying It To Seniors, makes the case that people who are not senior citizens have no idea what it's like to be that old.

We pretend to relate to these nice people, but at the end of the day, we see them as we are, rather than as they are.  This false perspective often leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings.

Taking the broader view and being open to other perspectives takes more time and energy, but it usually produces a more accurate assessment of what's really happening.